he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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