Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
