I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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