Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
