I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
