walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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