Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
should my penis look like a turkey
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
