i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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