he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
