It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
