the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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