I'm really into asian looking animals
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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