some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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