Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize