I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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