No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
