What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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