someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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