You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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