I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
