so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
