go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
