What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
