She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
