they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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