Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
