Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
