i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
