A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
