this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
