You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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