Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
