just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
