Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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