it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
