did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
