I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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