Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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