Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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