is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
