what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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