She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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