so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
