you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
