I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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