The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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