You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
