I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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