After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
