my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
