nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
