He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
