Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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