Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
