Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
