So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
