he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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